It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
