you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ate ashes out of my bong
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize