Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
