Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
