Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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