I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.