dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
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IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
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after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son