sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.