I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
