Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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