I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
