Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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