White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
