He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
this boner is exhausting
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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