Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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