Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
