Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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