absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
