Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
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