Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
