When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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