the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
