as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Randomize
