We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Someone shattered a urinal.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
