did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
