And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize