new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
