I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
