I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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