So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I am full of burrito and curiosity
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
