I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can vaginas get frostbite?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize