I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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