"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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