wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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