Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
operation have a gay friend backfired
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
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I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
sex in a hospital.. check
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I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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