If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
