Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
