I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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