we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
