thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
My penis needs a shock collar
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
