and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
