2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize