You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize