I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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