Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize