her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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