I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
