I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
