I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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