She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
