Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
