Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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