I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
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