We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
