Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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