I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
