we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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