tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
