His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
