Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I need to stop coming to work sober
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
